Tuesday, February 1, 2011

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          Marriage is like a three way light bulb.  The first level is the joining of the husband and wife.  The second level is the building of the family.  The third level is the love of God that illuminates everything.  It is true that the right marriage gets better as the years pass.  This does not mean that there won’t be bumps in the road but that they will be overcome.  What needs to be decided when choosing a partner is, was it your choice or has the choice involved God’s help.  Just as a light bulb needs electricity to work, a marriage needs the spark of love.

          When a man gets married, his primary responsibility in life transfers from himself to his wife[1].  His responsibility is to love his wife as Christ loves the Church and be willing, if necessary, to die for her[2].

          When a woman becomes a wife, according to the Bible, she becomes submissive to her husband[3].  This is because the Lord has placed the responsibility for the well being of the family squarely on the shoulders of the husband[4].  If the husband is not fulfilling his responsibilities, he needs to ‘man up’.

          When a family begins to have children, the man picks up a secondary responsibility which is that of his children.  Children should never be placed above the wife or husband.  If a marriage partner feels that their children should come first, they are in wrong relationship with both their spouse and God[5].

          Marriage is the joining of two souls as one entity[6].  I literally believe that the marriage partners become spiritually and soulfully joined as one.  If you can believe in the trinity of God, you shouldn’t have trouble with this.  Their physical bodies become the property of each other[7]. 

          Divorce, although not the best for us, in my mind can be justified for a variety of reasons.  If a marriage partner does not, physically or in mind and spirit, truthfully become a full partner; the contract was not entered in good faith, which is a breach of contract.  If there is physical and, or mental abuse involved, the Lord wouldn’t want you to stay locked into a catastrophic union.  Couples who ‘grow apart’ were not truly joined together in spirit.  If sin causes a problem, such as a jail sentence or continued infidelity which cannot be forgiven, it would be up to the injured party to decide whether to continue in the marriage.  Divorce is not an unforgivable sin.  It is simply admitting that you are involved in an intolerable situation from which you cannot recover.  What we see a lot of today is people not willing to put any real effort into the marriage and therefore it fails. 

          If you think that your marriage is in trouble you should seek outside help (hopefully Christian based) before the problems fester beyond the point of no return. 

          Remarriage is an option, if you are so inclined.  This is especially true if your first marriage was to the wrong person.  I believe (and have seen it) that the Lord has a perfect mate for anyone so inclined.  There are situations that qualify as wrong reasons to get married such as lust, boredom with the single life, thinking you need to get a family started or being unequally yoked[8]. 

          Some people get married for all the wrong reasons.  The only reason for marriage, in my opinion, is that the couple is so much in love that they can’t survive, in spirit and soul, without being joined together.  The secondary reason for marriage is to begin a family.  True ‘Love is a Many-Splendored Thing’[9], and when the Lord directs the relationship it becomes all that much better[10].  I know from experience.

[1] Ephesians 5:33, 5:28-31
[2] Ephesians 5:25
[3] Ephesians 5:22-23, 33
[4] Ephesians 5:29
[5] Genesis 20:20,
[6] Matthew 10:6
[7] 1 Corinthians 7: 4
[8] 2 Corinthians 6:14

[9] Lyrics by Frank Sinatra

[10] Ephesians 5:20


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